“Legitimate Rape” and the aftermath of Election 2012

Posted on November 13, 2012 by ShariKarney

By: Alana Chazan, Esq. 11/13/2012

For many, the 2012 election will be remembered as the “rape” election. Rape, which had generally been regarded as a bipartisan issue that both parties stood against, turned out to be the surprise issue of the election. By and large, it was the Republicans who seemed to keep bringing the topic up over and over again. Now in the aftermath of the election and a resounding defeat of the right, many in the Republican Party are trying to separate themselves from the candidates who spoke their views on rape. In an op-ed about damage control for the Republicans after the election, Bush’s former advisor, Karen Hughes, wrote in Politico: “And if another Republican man says anything about rape other than it is a horrific, violent crime, I want to personally cut out his tongue. The college-age daughters of many of my friends voted for Obama because they were completely turned off by Neanderthal comments like the suggestion of “legitimate rape.”

However, it was not just “Neanderthal[s]” and rouge agents of the party who spoke out about rape in the 2012 election, but Senatorial candidates, congressmen, and the vice presidential candidate himself – Paul Ryan. In case you have forgotten or rather tried to push out of your mind some of the choice statements made by candidates in 2012 regarding rape, lets review:

- “If it’s a legitimate rape, the female body has ways to try to shut that whole thing down.” Rep. Todd Akin (R-Mo.)
- “In that horrible situation of rape, that [pregnancy] is something God intended.” Senate Candidate Richard Murdock (R-In.)
- “Consensual sex can turn into rape in an awful hurry – some girls they rape so easy.” State Rep. Richard Rivard (R-WI.)
- “In cases of rape and incest – I am still pro-life.” Rep. Joe Walsh (R-Il.)
- “Having a baby out of wedlock – is similar [to rape].” Candidate John Koster (R-Wa.)
- “The method of conception [i.e. rape] doesn’t change the definition of life.” Vice Presidential Candidate Paul Ryan (R-Wi.)

What the 2012 election really did, was it blew the cover of the anti-woman views that have been an undercurrent of the party for years. And this fact was not lost on the voters. In tallying votes there was found to be an 18 percent gap between the number of women who voted for Obama and those that voted for Romney, which is a significant gain from the 12-point gender gap in the 2008 election. In fact, Obama won single female voters in this election by a resounding 68% to 30% for Romney.

The good news – each of the candidate noted above lost in the 2012 election. The bad news, however, is that just because these candidates were defeated, this issue is not just fixed. The idea that survivors of rape bring the crime upon themself and deserve the consequences, is nothing new. In fact Rape Shield Laws were developed and fought for by feminists throughout this country in the 1970’s and 1980’s, precisely to defeat this ideology. For those not familiar, Rape Shield Laws are state evidentiary laws limiting a rape defendant’s ability to introduce evidence about the victim’s past sexual behavior. Such laws also generally protect the victim in a sexual assault case from having their identity made public. The idea behind the laws was to try and curtail the leading ideology of the time that a “loose” woman could not be raped.

Rape cases are notoriously difficult, with studies showing that only about one-third of rapes are ever reported to the police, and only a small fraction of those are ever prosecuted. Victims are generally forced to testify whether they want to or not, and between the police, the lawyers, and the courts, the victim often ends up feeling re-victimized in the process of trying to gain justice against their abuser. While Rape Shield Laws are supposed to protect victims from having their character put at issue in trial, the ideology that “some girls…rape easy” or that there is such thing as a “legitimate” or non-legitimate rape devalues the usefulness of existing Rape Shield Laws and makes survivors of such crimes feel even more scrutinized.

We live in what many are calling the “era of personal responsibility.” This idea in itself isn’t even a political split as both parties generally espouse the notion that we as people need to take personal responsibility for ourselves and our lives and actions. But how does the notion of “personal responsibility” affect the way we see survivors of crime and violence? How does it allow people to get around Rape Shield Laws by not addressing a victim’s past sexual conduct, but rather just blaming her for being raped at all? It says to survivors – since most people aren’t raped, what did you do to put yourself in the situation to be? It shifts the blame from being on the perpetrator to the victim itself, as though they should have known better than to get raped.

In this era of personal responsibility, the myth of the “perfect victim” has never been greater. The myth of the “perfect victim” is a myth, precisely because there is no such thing. And in this age of personal responsibility and the advent of a 24 hours news-cycle and social media, the idea that a victim of crime is somehow herself to blame for what has happened to her, is as prevalent as ever in even the most horrific of crimes.

Last year in Cleveland, Texas 18 men were arrested for the brutal gang rape of an 11-year-old child. Rather than unanimous sympathy for this young girl who had been subject repeated gang rapes, Cleveland held a town hall meeting to discuss the incident where numerous residents blamed the child and her parents for the child’s own gang rape. The victim blaming in this case went so far that even an elected representative in Florida, Kathleen Passidomo, used the case to try and push her own political agenda by stating during a debate over a school uniform bill: “There was an article about an 11 year old girl who was gang raped in Texas by 18 young men because she was dressed like a 21-year-old prostitute…And her parents let her attend school like that. And I think it’s incumbent upon us to create some areas where students can be safe in school and show up in proper attire so what happened in Texas doesn’t happen to our students.” So here, the fault of the rape was not on the 18 men who gang raped an 11 year old, but rather on the girl herself, or her parents, for letting her dress in a way that should seemingly invite rape.

Recently in Arizona, prior to sentencing an off-duty police officer who had been found guilty of sexually assaulting a woman in a bar, Judge Kathleen Hatch, admonished not just the perpetrator, but the victim herself, stating: “If you wouldn’t have been there that night, none of this would have happened to you.” “When you blame others, you give up your power to change,” Judge Hatch stated said that her mother used to say to her. According to the Judge, the rape survivor had no one to blame but herself, that as a woman, she should expect such things to happen to her if she goes somewhere as indecent as a bar.

There are numerous other examples from the DSK case in New York just last year to every survivor of a sexual assault by a professional athlete whom has had to endure being outed, ridiculed and threatened by the public as being a lying slut. The ideas that some girls “rape easy,” that there is a “legitimate” form of rape and a non-legitimate form of rape, that rape can even be something “God intended,” are not just the ideologies of some fringe political candidates. They are real ingrained notions in the legislatures, the courts, and in the public itself. Just because the election is over does not mean the struggle to expose misogyny and victim blaming should be. Rather it should be a call to arms to strengthen our Rape Shield Laws and work to further protect survivors of rape and sexual abuse.

Boy Scouts claim kids safer with them than at home–Shari Karney Speaks Out About

Posted on September 27, 2012 by ShariKarney

SHARI KARNEY SPEAKS OUT ABOUT

Boy Scouts claim kids safer with them than at home

Alan Duke CNN

September 26, 2012

LOS ANGELES (CNN) — The Boy Scouts of America released a study Wednesday that claims children were safer from sex abuse in the Scouts than when at home or school.

The report was prepared by a psychiatric expert hired by the Scouts to review so-called “perversion files” kept by the organization from 1970 to 1991.

A newspaper review of the files published last week said they showed scouting officials “failed to report hundreds of alleged child molesters to police and often hid the allegations from parents and the public.”

Once secret files

Dr. Janet Warren (University of Virginia psychiatry professor) wrote in her report.

claims children were safer from sex abuse in the Scouts than when at home or school.

Shari Karney: Are we calling a place “safer” for our children because the child rape and sexual abuse rate is lower than at other places? Why should we tolerate any child sexual abuse? Even one child victim is one too many. Dr. Warren states, “Only 25 children in the Scouts were sexually abused in 1980.” Only 25 children? That’s 25 children too many.

review so-called “perversion files” kept by the organization from 1970 to 1991.

Shari Karney: For decades, the Boy Scouts have argued that the confidential files contain no information of value to the public or for protecting youth in general against pedophiles.

Shari Karney: This couldn’t be further from the truth. Had those “perversion files” been turned over to the police and made public, hundreds, maybe thousands of child victims could have been saved between 1970 and 1991. Had those reports been publicly revealed and turned over to the police, unborn future victims could have been saved. We are talking about a 21-year period.

scouting officials “failed to report hundreds of alleged child molesters to police and often hid the allegations from parents and the public.”

Shari Karney: I call on the Boy Scouts to oust any Official still with the organization who are involved in covering up child sex crimes or failing to report such crimes to the police. I call on victims to come forward and assert their legal rights against the Boy Scouts; I call for criminal charges to be filed against perpetrators and officials who took part in the abuse and the cover up.

Uniform

“I believe that these files show that children in Scouting were safer and less likely to experience inappropriate sexual behavior in Scouting than in their own families, schools and during other community activities supervised by adults,” Dr. Janet Warren wrote in her report.

Shari Karney, an attorney who specializes in child sexual abuse cases against organizations like the Boy Scouts, Churches Swim Clubs, Universities is outraged and stunned by Dr. Janet Warren’s assertion in her report on behalf of the Boy Scouts, that children were safer in the Boy Scouts than at home. The Scouts have perversion files” which are a blacklist of alleged sexual molesters.

Shari Karney: The problem with the Boy Scouts hiding these files for so long is that it stops victims from seeking justice because of potential statute of limitation running out. And the Boy Scouts knew it. They hoped to wait until the clock ran out, before they made public these files. The leadership of the BSA were cunning and clever with the law.

As one of the authors of the changes in the law to the SOL in California, the law was changed in 1991. Exactly when the Boy Scouts stopped even keeping these secret “perversion files.” The official knew what they were doing and were protecting the Boy Scouts and themselves from lawsuits and criminal charges. They intentionally were depriving victims of being able to exercise their legal rights.

Does this fit into the purpose and founding principles of the Boy Scouts? Is this morally straight? Have the Boy Scouts run astray of their own teachings and founding ideals? Their actions over a 20-year period, hiding files of children documenting being sexually abused, is morally reprehensible. And more than that, it makes the leadership of the BSA, every scout leader who saw or heard or knew, or was told, a silent partner in the sexual abuse of these children. Parents and the public have relied on the Scouts as a safe haven where they can entrust their children.

One hallmark of the Boy Scouts is that they aren’t a secret society, they are not supposed to hide things, and they encourage parent involvement and transparency.

Our innocence has been degraded. The last vestige of the good guys, the heroes has been tainted. It makes me sad, because I too, believed with my heart, in boys pledging Scout’s honor, earning merit badges, learning to tie a proper knot, aiding people in need, exploring the wilderness, and even the basics of conservation. Those are the boys that turned into wonderful men.

Boy Scouts claim kids safer with them than at home

http://www.fox43.com/news/wpmt-boy-scouts-claim-kids-safer-with-them-than-at-home-20120926,0,5858887.story

L.A. Times chat: Sexual abuse revelations in Boy Scouts of America files

Published on Aug 6, 2012 by losangelestimes

Los Angeles Times’ reporters Jason Felch and Kim Christensen reviewed more than 1,200 files, dating from 1970 to 1991 that make up part of a confidential Boy Scouts blacklist known as the “perversion files.”

Olympic swimming & their coaches: Sometimes sexual predators–Shari Karney Speaks out About

Posted on September 20, 2012 by ShariKarney

SHARI KARNEY SPEAKS OUT ABOUT

Underage sexual relationship is child sexual abuse at Olympics

Rick Curl at Poolside (FIle photo from Washington Post)

We need to use the proper language: Calling this a relationship implies it is between consenting adults. You don’t have a consenting relationship between a 13-year old swimmer and a 33 year old Olympic coach. This is another Sandusky coach-predator action except this one is taking place in the swimming pool instead of the shower. Again, a coach preys on a child athlete. The 13-year old is an Olympic Swimmer named Kelley Davies Currin. She is now 43-years old. She stifled this for 23 years because she signed a piece of paper when she was nineteen.

In my opinion where a coach sexually molests a 13-year old girl for four years, and is around pre-pubescent girls in bathing suits all the time…it is likely there are going to be other victims. I find it highly unlikely that Kelley is the only one. With Sandusky, after the first boy came forward, nine other child victims followed and told their harrowing stories.

I would like to support swimmers, children and child athletes to give them the strength to come forward and speak out. I am asking for an investigation by U.S. Olympics Committee and FBI and lets hope that Louis Freeh does a report. The FBI needs to investigate since adult predators cross State lines with their child/teen Olympic Contenders, and even cross to foreign countries.

Further, I am pleading with parents of child swimmers in the Curl-Burke Swim Club and child Olympic Contenders everywhere to probe into what is happening or has already happened. In other words, parents step it up! The Curl-Burke Swim Club, has now one of the largest swim clubs in the country with 2,000 members and 15 facilities. It looks to me like this swim club grooms athletes for Olympics.

Kelley Davies Currin said, “Now I’ve gotten to the point in my life where I’m done being quiet about it…it was a crime.” Basically, she’s saying she’s finding her voice at 43—23 years later. I want to encourage other victims, other athletes, other children to find their voice. The only way to prevent child sexual abuse is for victims to be done being quiet about it.

Kelley Davies grown up.

Associated Press

Rick Curl was one of the nation’s most prominent swimming coaches. He put his stamp on an Olympic champion. He built a highly respected club that trained thousands of youngsters.

All along, he was hiding a dark secret.

It caught up with him Wednesday.

Curl was banned for life by USA Swimming over allegations of an intimate relationship with a teenage swimmer in the 1980s, another ugly chapter in a sexual abuse scandal that has rocked one of America’s most successful Olympic sports.

“

Obviously I feel really good about it. But, in a way, I feel like this should have been done so long ago. This is really just the first step in the process. Unfortunately, I don’t think things are going to get better. I think more discoveries are going be made. This is just the first layer of the onion.

” – Kelley Davies Currin on banishment of ex-coach Rick Curl from USA Swimming

“He cast a spell over me,” said Kelley Davies Currin, who claims the relationship started when she was 13 and Curl was 33. “I don’t know why. Looking back, it doesn’t make sense. He controlled everything. He controlled what I ate, when I slept, who I could hang out with.”

The founder of a well-known club in the Washington, D.C., area and the coach for 1996 and 2000 Olympic gold medalist Tom Dolan, Curl was scheduled to appear Wednesday before the National Board of Review. But he informed the governing body he was waiving his right to challenge the case at a hearing.

Curl voluntarily gave up his membership and was added to USA Swimming’s list of banned individuals, which is published on the organization website. He became the 67th name on the list.

Currin said she was pleased with the banishment of someone who caused her so much misery, but hopes it is only the beginning of truly meaningful change throughout the sport.

“Obviously I feel really good about it,” she told The Associated Press in an interview. “But, in a way, I feel like this should have been done so long ago. This is really just the first step in the process. Unfortunately, I don’t think things are going to get better. I think more discoveries are going be made. This is just the first layer of the onion.”

USA Swimming bans Rick Curl for life

http://espn.go.com/olympics/swimming/story/_/id/8398669/rick-curl-banned-life-usa-swimming-having-improper-relationship

Sexual Misconduct in U.S. Swimming

By Irvin Muchnick

For those wondering if the problem of sex abuse in our national youth competitive swimming program is truly worse than Penn State – and if so, why – I say look no further than the Rick Curl case.

Last week USA Swimming announced a “provisional suspension” of Curl, one of the country’s most prominent age-group club swimming coaches, former national team coach, and founder of the Washington, D.C., area’s 950-athlete-strong Curl-Burke Club, which moved swiftly after accepting his resignation to rebrand itself as CUBU. USA Swimming postponed until next month an emergency hearing on information that Curl had molested swimmer Kelley Davies (now Currin), starting in 1983 when she was 13, and later paid the Davies family $150,000 in a “non-disclosure agreement.”

Rick Curl Sex Abuse Case Raises New Concerns

Olympic Swimmer Speaks Out on Sex Abuse Lawsuit

Child Care Center where children sexually assaulted–Shari Karney Speaks out About

Posted on September 13, 2012 by ShariKarney

SHARI KARNEY SPEAKS OUT ABOUT

Stand by your Children

Richard Cliber, 60, is accused of touching a 6 year old boy, an 8 year old girl, a 4 year old girl, and a 5 year old boy when his wife went to run errands or was in another room. The children each told authorities, Richard Cliber used an instrument to assault them. How did the police find out? One of the parents of a child who went to the school called the police. Apparently, this Day Care Center was closed by the State four years ago. So how is it that parents enrolled their children in a Day Care Center that has been closed by the State? I just think parents have too much on their plate. They are running to work, running to drop their children off, trying to get it together.

And what the State says, What more could we do but close them down. We thought they were closed down, already. What happens is that children, childhood, and lives destroyed because parents didn’t check if the Day Care Center was licensed. And the State not checking to see if in fact they were still operating. We have children hurt in the wake of the illegal operation of a Day Care Center. I’ve seen better accountability, and better oversight done by the State and by parents doing research regarding a dog or animal safety.

The children told the authorities they had been sexually assaulted for quite some time. My advice is for any parent or caregiver whose child attended this Day Care Center to sit down with their children and ask them very clear and focused questions. A child told police that Susan Cliber, the accused wife, yelled to her husband to stop what he was doing because it was “Very bad”. What’s wrong with these wives: Dottie Sandusky, and Susan Cliber? Good women of Pennsylvania and around the United States: Speak up; Stand up; Stop being the silent partner. Call the police! Call the State! Protect the kids! In almost every incident of child sexual abuse there is a woman who could have done something to stop it or prevent it. And did nothing. I would like for women to know, Stop standing by your man! Stand up for the child!

By MATTHEW KEMENY, The Patriot-News

In March 2009, the state Department of Public Welfare sent Richard and Susan Kay Cliber a “cease and desist” letter, ordering the couple to stop running an unlicensed daycare in their Duncannon-area home, according to the agency.

The next month a department agent visited the Lincoln Street home and confirmed the day care was defunct. Or, so they thought. More than three years later, the couple face staggering allegations of sexual abuse of children who attended the unlicensed day care, according to authorities. Richard Cliber, 60, is accused of sexually assaulting at least six boys and girls between the ages of 4 and 9, and his wife Susan Kay Cliber, 56, is accused of failing to report the alleged abuse to authorities. Richard Cliber was charged Friday by Penn Twp. police with three felony counts of aggravated indecent assault, four felony counts of indecent assault and a single misdemeanor count of indecent exposure. Susan Cliber was charged with eight felony counts of endangering the welfare of children. Perry County District Attorney Charles Chenot III said police need to conduct more interviews with children who attended the day care and additional charges are possible. It’s particularly disturbing the allegations involve a day care center, a place where parents are supposed to trust their children are safe, Chenot said. “Unfortunately, this may make people less trusting of their day care provider,” the district attorney said, adding that the majority of day cares are reputable, safe businesses. “Every once in a while you get a bad egg, such as the ones you see in the press and on TV and that’s what’s alleged to have happened here.” The Cliber’s attorney, J. Michael Sheldon, did not return a message seeking comment. Richard Cliber was released on $25,000 unsecured bail and his wife was released on her own recognizance. Chenot said he was surprised the bail was unsecured, which means the accused only has to pay if they don’t show up for court. District Judge Daniel McGuire, who set the bail, said he’s ethically not allowed to comment on his reasons for determining bail. Richard Cliber is accused of touching the children inappropriately with a sex toy when his wife left the home to run errands or was in another room, according to a criminal complaint. He’s accused of using the toy to tickle the children’s’ genitals and other private areas on top of and under their clothes, according to the complaint. Police began investigating the Clibers on Aug. 23 after parents of the child who attends the center called police, the complaint stated. It’s unknown how long the abuse is alleged to have happened. A message left for the Penn Twp. police chief was not returned. A child who attended the day care told police Susan Cliber yelled at her husband to stop what he was doing because it was “very bad,” according to the complaint. Any day care where three or more children who aren’t related are being cared for must be registered with the state. It’s unknown how many children were being watched in the Cliber home, but DPW is investigating, spokeswoman Anne Bale said. Parents should be cautious of where they are sending their children and make sure the facility is licensed, Bale said. “This is a learning opportunity for parents,” she said. “We hope all parents considering child care will ensure a facility is licensed and look at a facility’s history.” Bale said the state’s Department of Public Welfare had no way of knowing the facility was continuing to operate as a day care, despite being ordered to cease. The agency did not receive any tips indicating this was the case, she said. The day care did not have a name to the agency’s knowledge. It was unclear if the couple could face charges for operating an unlicensed day care. The sexual abuse allegations shocked at least one Penn Twp. neighbor, who literally took a step back when he heard the news. The man, who declined to give his name because he feared retaliation, said his sister attended the Cliber’s daycare for several years more than a decade ago. She’s never told him of any problems, but the man said he’s planning on calling her to talk about the experience. “It’s hard to believe someone who lives so close to you would be accused of something like this,” the man said. “I always believed it was a reputable business.”

Additional charges are possible for Perry County couple accused of child sexual abuse, authorities say

http://www.pennlive.com/midstate/index.ssf/2012/09/additional_charges_are_possibl.html

Did you know parents can be sexual abusers, too–Shari Karney speaks out about

Posted on September 6, 2012 by ShariKarney

SHARI KARNEY SPEAKS OUT ABOUT

1. In this quotation from the News-Advance of Lynchburg, Virginia it is clear that there is something mysterious and even hidden in dark shadows as character when parents are sexual abusers. After looking over the excerpt, please comment on two things: (1) What kind of person, both by characteristic and by moral character makes a good description of the parents who are sexual abusers? (2) Where do these acts by parents usually take place, and if there are not specific spots, how do you describe some of the ways and places of the acts of child molesting? Can you give us a case study?

The kind of person who does this to a child are fathers, uncles, neighbors, step-fathers, football coaches, athletes and the guy next door. Child sexual abusers are all races, all religions, all economic levels and in every neighborhood across the United States and around the world. It is epidemic. I believe it has always been this way. Now the victims are brave enough to step forward. It is not the poor, or people of color or people who live in certain neighborhoods. It is everywhere in every race, class, gender, and sexual orientation.

When we talk about sexual acts by parents against their own children, they tend to take place in private, wherever an adult who is a sexual abuser has the opportunity and the privacy to perpetrate. There is a difference between a child molester and a pedophile. Most incest aggressors are child molesters or abusers. Where you find pedophiles—they have a different thought process and pattern. Pedophiles believe they are having a love relationship with a child. It’s the Michael Jackson comment: “I love children.” “I love sleeping in the same bed with children.” “I love bringing them cookies.” It’s Sandusky. They are serial child predators that are pedophiles. Incest aggressors are your more typical parent child molester. They do it for power and control. But the parent is more interested in feeling better about themselves: Having an outlet for their frustration, their feeling of helplessness. Some parents do it because it feels good and they can get away with it.

In a case study, the father was paparazzi. (This was my own case as an attorney, representing the 16 year old daughter.) He would have sex with his daughter while the whole family was watching television. He would have sex in the bed where the mother slept beside the child. He would urinate on his son. And when his son misbehaved, he would make his son dress in girl’s clothes. He’s an incest perpetrator: Molester.

By: Ken West | The News & Advance

Although there is no moral leadership, it is not unusual for the abusing parent to rule as a tyrant. The weaker parent may give up all responsibility for parenting, frequently blaming a lack of parenting on psychosomatic illnesses. Children learn little about what is normal in other families.

If discovered and prosecuted, family members frequently support the offending parent and join in the lie that nothing bad is happening.

Bardill warns sexual abuse can occur in other families as well. But generally, these nastiest of families stay hidden.

The perverted misbehavior of adults is never the fault of abused children. Unfortunately, it may take years of therapy for victims to accept their own innocence. http://www2.newsadvance.com/lifestyles/2012/jul/09/when-parents-are-sexual-abusers-ar-2045321/

Empowering children about child abuse, a video–Shari Karney speaks out about

Posted on August 28, 2012 by ShariKarney

SHARI KARNEY SPEAKS OUT ABOUT

Comment on some of the agencies and non-profits that are engaged in educating and advocating against child abuse and molesting. You as a crusader for child rights and against child abuse take on various cases as an attorney. Is there an organization that you are connected with, too, that you will tell us about briefly?

Shari Karney: I like Child Help USA www.childhelp.org because they provide a haven for neglected and abused children. Also they are involved with education and protection. SNAP (Survivor Network of those Abused by Priests): www.snapnetwork.org is a network for those abused by Priests and Churches. The National Crime Victim Bar Association: www.victimbar.org puts a lot of energy into educating attorneys, helping crime victims with attorney referrals for civil lawsuits. National Center for Victims of Crime: www.ncvc.org helps victims of all types of crime. If you have been victimized, this is a good place to start. With their specialized DNA program, Stalking Center, and Youth Initiative program, it’s a safe place for crime victims (especially youth) to get information and support. California Protective Parents Association: www.protectiveparents.com protects and works with those who are victims of incest and family violence.

Our time needs to be spent educating caretakers, educating parents. We want to cut down on children being prey to opportunistic predators, which all child molesters are. We can’t just lay this on the parents, because it’s bigger than the parents. You can’t lock your children up 24 hours a day. Children (without being graphic), can be educated on what the rules are and what adults can and can’t do. Let’s teach our kids how to honor their gut feelings; How to stay safe, how to alert a trusted adult when something is Yucky, or doesn’t feel right. We want to empower our kids before they are in a dangerous situation. I don’t think parents should be expected to do all this on their own. We all need to pitch in and power up.

Are you working on a current case that has to do with child molesting. Is it another high profile case? Will you be telling us more about this new legal case you are taking up?

Shari Karney: Yes I am currently working on a high profile case. What happens when the protector is the perpetrator? What happens when the powerful is the perpetrator? If case development permits, I will be talking about these civil lawsuits in the future. The sums involved are millions of dollars.

Empowering our Children against Sexual Abuse (Pattie Fitzgerald) on The Intentional Parent EP#11

Uploaded by TheLipTV on Dec 15, 2011

EPISODE SYNOPSIS Today’s show is about common sense strategies and guidance to protect children from sexual predators. Despite being a tough subject to talk about, its an incredibly important one. For this reason Greg and Tina are joined by Pattie Fitzgerald, founder of Safely Ever After, to dispel some of the myths and clarify the truths surrounding childhood sexual abuse. Besides sharing the essential information all parents need to know, Pattie makes the important point that this isn’t a subject that has to be uncomfortable and avoided. The first step in preventing abuse is talking about it. This is an episode every parent should see. GUEST BIO Pattie Fitzgerald has been successfully teaching Child Predator Safety Awareness since 2001. She is the founder and creator of Safely Ever After, Inc. and provides effective, non-fearful safety workshops, seminars, and keynote speeches at schools, community organizations, churches, and corporations throughout the United States. She has trained many crime prevention educators and children’s advocacy groups with her specialized programs, curriculum, and educational materials. Pattie is a published author and has been selected by the Los Angeles Sheriff’s M.E.R.I.T. Program as an instructor to incarcerated inmates at the North County Correctional Facility in Castaic, California. Pattie has also recently been named as the Safety and Prevention Advisor for the newly formed child advocacy group, PeasInTheirPods.com. Prior to the inception of Safely Ever After, Inc., Pattie previously worked as the Community Outreach Educator for the national child advocacy group, Parents For Megan’s Law. She has been featured on Good Morning America, CNN Headline News and MSNBC, as well as KCBS-2, KNBC-4 and KABC-7. Her written works have been published in numerous parenting magazines, trade journals, and newspapers throughout the United States. ADDITIONAL LINKS, ETC. http://www.youtube.com/user/safelyeverafter#p/a/u/0/6RaHgK11srk http://tiny.cc/34do2 http://safelyeverafter.com/index.html http://PeasInTheirPods.com/ https://www.meganslaw.com/ EPISODE BREAKDOWN 00:00 Intro 02:38 Tell us about what you do and about Safely Ever After. 03:30 This is a hard topic to talk about with our kids. 04:10 Contradictory lessons we teach our kids. 04:45 Statistics. 06:40 Hoping this doesn’t happen isn’t enough. What can we do to prevent abuse? 09:35 Developing enough trust with your child for them to be comfortable to come to you or someone with whatever they are dealing with. 13:26 What age are children the most vulnerable? 15:55 How should kids behave towards potential perpetrators? 18:10 Four preconditions that have to be met before a child can be sexually abused. 21:35 How often and at what age should you talk to your child about this? 24:05 Secrets vs. surprises and ‘what if’ games. 28:00 What about giving kids phrases or a code they can use if they don’t feel comfortable. 30:16 What are the effects and how do we address this with older kids who have teachers, coaches, etc. to deal with? 33:30 If your child is victimized they can still recover with help. How abuse can manifest. 37:50 Physical trauma and signs of abuse. 38:25 Abuser demographics. Who, how and when do abusers become active? 42:40 Megan’s Law. 46:15 What is the difference between a sex offender and a pedophile? 47:10 Can you talk about the motivations for sex offenders? 50:50 What should we do if something does happen? 52:40 Sandusky. 55:45 ‘This is My Body,’ Pattie’s Book. 57:05 Pattie’s Website and other resources. 57:40 Is there anything else we should address? 59:00 WRAP UP.

Shari Karney talks about Los Angeles Times excerpt on secret files held by Boy Scouts

Posted on August 20, 2012 by ShariKarney

SHARI KARNEY TALKS ABOUT

Question: One characteristic of the child molester in the case of a Stephen Field who was expelled by the Boy Scouts is his persistence. So the Los Angeles Times recently writes in their report on the subject of Child Molesting. Stephen Field continued with the Boy Scouts, unbeknownst to the National Scouting Office after a period of being away due to his expulsion. He started back in another location. Would you say this is a typical practice in general by Child Molesters? Is the confidential or secret nature of the files held by the Boy Scouts on child molesters and suspected child molesters in their midst actually an impediment to keeping them out and having them prosecuted?

Shari Karney: The files that the Boy Scouts are keeping secret are similar to the files kept secret by the Roman Catholic Church. The only thing the secret files do is protect the perpetrator. If you are a parent of a child in the Boy Scouts, and your child was molested by a Scout Leader, how outraged would you be that the Scouts kept the file secret? Perpetrators count on silence. Silence does not protect the child. In the Penn State trial, when one child spoke out that helps to protect future generations of children. I believe the Boy Scouts, the Roman Catholic Church, and Universities should not keep secret files. Child Molesting thrives in privacy. One good example is Stephen Field of the Boy Scouts.

This is an incident reported in that same Los Angeles Times article: In September 1978, Scouting officials in North Carolina investigated the alleged abuse of a Scout by Mark F. Bumgarner, a 21-year-old assistant scoutmaster.

One night after most Scouts had retired to their tents at Camp Schiele, the boy stayed up talking with Bumgarner, who reached into the boy’s pants and fondled him, according to a statement from the boy’s father that is in Bumgarner’s file. The boy objected repeatedly, but Bumgarner persisted, telling him “the cartilage in [his] penis was similar to his nose and that he could break it,” the father wrote.

After “considerable discussion,” the national office decided that Bumgarner, an Eagle Scout and the son of the pastor whose church sponsored the troop, deserved another chance.

Months later, he was arrested for sexually abusing two Scouts during a camp-out. He pleaded guilty to one count of child abuse, prompting the national office to expel him and open a file.

The question of you is this: Do you think a policy, like that of the Boy Scouts, is a good one when a child molester is given a second chance and put back into working with children in a trusted relationship? One reason the Boy Scouts give for this kind of decision about policy is sometimes cases about Child Molesting are weak. Is there such a situation where a case is “weak?”

Shari Karney: Err on the side of the child, because I don’t believe that where an individual has such unlimited access to children, we should allow an accused to be around children. Even in a “weak” Child Molesting case. I don’t understand the policy of the giving an accused Child Molester a second chance. Why relocate an accused them to another location. It always gets back to the question, Who are we protecting? The point is we protect Child Molesters against powerless children. We do this because they’re a member of the “adult club.” Children are second class citizens. I think that children in this country have their basic needs provided for: Food, shelter, and clothing. But still children don’t have full legal rights of an adult. That’s the job of the legislature, the Congress, and all of us. We need a Children’s Bill of Rights! So that when the Boy Scout transfers an accused molester, a child has a Constitutional civil right to be free of child molestation. One thing about giving children Constitutional Rights, the consequences would be overwhelming to violators. Would the Boy Scouts transfer a racist Scout Leader to another location, for if they did there would be a Constitutional based legal action as well as a lawsuit for money damages.

Los Angeles Times review of Boy Scout documents shows that a blacklist meant to protect boys from sexual predators too often failed in its mission.

By Jason Felch and Kim Christensen, Los Angeles Times

August 5, 2012

For nearly a century, the Boy Scouts of America has relied on a confidential blacklist known as the “perversion files” as a crucial line of defense against sexual predators.

Scouting officials say they’ve used the files to prevent hundreds of men who had been expelled for alleged sexual abuse from returning to the ranks. They’ve fought hard in court to keep the records from public view, saying confidentiality was needed to protect victims, witnesses and anyone falsely accused.

“It is a fact that Scouts are safer because the barrier created by these files is real,” Scouts Chief Executive Robert Mazzuca said in video posted on the organization’s website in June.

DOCUMENTS: Read the Boy Scouts files

That barrier, however, has been breached repeatedly.

A Los Angeles Times review of more than 1,200 files dating from 1970 to 1991 found more than 125 cases across the country in which men allegedly continued to molest Scouts after the organization was first presented with detailed allegations of abusive behavior.

Predators slipped back into the program by falsifying personal information or skirting the registration process. Others were able to jump from troop to troop around the country thanks to clerical errors, computer glitches or the Scouts’ failure to check the blacklist.

In some cases, officials failed to document reports of abuse in the first place, letting offenders stay in the organization until new allegations surfaced. In others, officials documented abuse but merely suspended the accused leader or allowed him to continue working with boys while on “probation.”

In at least 50 cases, the Boy Scouts expelled suspected abusers, only to discover later that they had reentered the program and were accused of molesting again.

Boy Scout files reveal repeat child abuse by sexual predators

http://www.latimes.com/news/local/la-me-boyscouts-20120805-m,0,5822319.story

Little girl beauty queen Star, JonBenet Ramsey–Shari Karney talks about

Posted on August 14, 2012 by ShariKarney

The third in a series of three, called Toddlers & Tiaras.

SHARI KARNEY TALKS ABOUT

That the father of Jonbenet Ramsey’s says that Pageants like, “Toddlers and Tiaras” is ‘Bizarre’ seems an unusual, if not odd thing for him to say in this ABC news YouTube. Was she not a wonderful and successful pageant girl on television? More, do you think because of her beauty and fame, the kind of end she came to, which is unknown, was the result of some strange act that involved that beauty and fame? In other words, are these children who participate in Pageants vulnerable to various kinds of exploitation, and in this case murder because of that television exploitation? Significantly, is this a kind of abuse of a child, to allow them the ‘Bizarre’ act of being in Pageants like “Toddlers and Tiaras?”

Shari Karney: It is my personal opinion that Jonbenet Ramsey’s participation in the kiddie beauty pageant circuit led to her death and was linked to pornographic pictures being taken of her that went too far. One of the factors in the autopsy report was that the child died with a garret around her neck. A garret is used by adults to cause a loss of consciousness to increase orgasm. And I think that they ended up choking her to death when simulating the garret use in a pornographic photo.

For Jonbenet’s father to say that Toddlers & Tiara is bizarre strikes me as bizarre. Why wasn’t it grotesque when he let his own daughter be in this kind of child exploitation—“beauty pageant.”

What is the fascination the public has with the beautiful little girls parading in the pageant as an adult beauty queen in competition? Is this a kind of voyeurism, a kind of even sexual exploitation of children? How does the public come to enjoy and even applaud this disturbing kind of show-off play by a child that is so sexual and adult, even in its kind of special child-like innocence in portraying the adult form of beauty pageant?

Shari Karney: I would like readers to give comment about, What is the fascination the public has with little girls parading around like adult beauty queens in competition.And more often

Off to school

scantily clad than the adult competitors. They are dressed erotically like Lady Gaga and Julia Roberts in the movie Pretty Woman.

My answer to the question: It’s our fascination with youth and innocence and the sexualization of young girls, even toddlers, in our society. It’s a form of decadence where the lines between right and wrong are so blurred. Television panders to the coliseum mentality of throwing the innocent to the lions. Television is feeding the viewer raw meat to excite the lions before the kill. It’s playing to the lowest most caveman like part of our brain. Then we wonder why 1 in 3 girls, and 1 in 5 boys are sexually abused before the age of 18.

JonBenet Ramsey’s Father Regrets Letting Her in Pageants, Says ‘Toddlers and Tiaras’ Is ‘Bizarre’–an Excerpt

By Juju Chang | ABC News Blogs

…with hindsight, Ramsey has a fascinating view of today’s child beauty pageant “Tiger moms,” who parade their daughters on the hit TLC show, “Toddlers and Tiaras.” Ramsey said he never sat and watched the show, but he has caught snippets of it, which he said he finds disturbing.

“It’s very bizarre,” he says outright. “And, it certainly- Patsy and JonBenet didn’t approach it that way. We- they just did it for fun.”

Ramsey said he remembers his little girl in a parade, just days before JonBenet was found killed in the basement of the family’s Boulder, Colo., home on Dec. 26, 1996.

“Patsy had her sitting atop a friend’s convertible in the Christmas parade waving at the people lining the streets,” Ramsey recalled. “Patsy’s mother later told me that a strange man approached the car during the parade and it made her uncomfortable. I think about these things now and it makes me cringe. We were so naïve. I now believe with all my heart that it’s not a good idea to put your child on public display.”

Patsy Ramsey was a beauty queen herself and JonBenet very much wanted to take part in pageants after seeing her mother on stage at a pageant reunion, John Ramsey said, but letting his daughter compete in pageants is something he regrets.

Halloween

“Only because- that possibly might have drawn attention to us,” he said. “I don’t know. But- I think for- for advice to a parent is just recognize that- regardless of where you live, there- there could be evil around you. And- and don’t be naive about it. And keep your kids protected.”

Almost anyone over the age of 20 probably remembers the notorious case of JonBenet Ramsey’s death, which remains unsolved. It was the morning after Christmas 1996. Her family found a horrifying ransom note, threatening to kill her if they didn’t pay $118,000, which was a seemingly odd amount.

Police were called and descended on the Ramseys’ house, but before long, John Ramsey, the well-to-do executive, made a shocking discovery – JonBenet’s body.

“When I found her it was a rush of relief.” Ramsey said. “And then of course within moments, I realized that she probably was dead. But she was back in my arms.”

Within hours, the Boulder police began treating the Ramseys, especially John, as suspects. Ramsey said he got a tip from a caller inside the Boulder police department, telling him they were targeting him and he should get a lawyer. When the investigation was leaked to the press, it sparked a media frenzy.

“I had 24-hour-a-day cameras outside of our house for, gosh, a year, probably,” he said.

http://gma.yahoo.com/blogs/abc-blogs/jonbenet-ramseys-father-regrets-letting-her-pageants-says-104902697–abc-news.html

Little girl stars in Paris Vogue are so adult-like–Shari Karney talks about

Posted on August 7, 2012 by ShariKarney

The second in a series of three, called Toddlers & Tiaras.

Little girl model in Paris Vogue

SHARI KARNEY TALKS ABOUT

One biggest item in the business of fashion is young and beautiful–also skinny. It is given that there is a look to the model, especially the model of clothes. One maxim for this kind of look is that the model shows the clothes, not that the clothes show the model. But in this Paris Vogue, the ten year old girls in these photos are young and beautiful–very young. Young and skinny, but of course. Yet the note for them as the model as object of fashion perfection is not what they wear, but how they look: beautiful, sexy, and hot. To your way of thinking is this a means of exploiting children for the purposes of a kind of prurient delight and to sell magazines?

Shari Karney: Like the adage, You can never be too young, too thin, or too rich. But

Kids

apparently, in the fashion business you can never be too young. The sexploitation of children to sell clothes, fashion and perfume, leads to a viewing of children as objects of sexual desire. It dehumanizes children. It takes away the idea of a child being innocent. Predators do not see children as innocent, and often blame the child for the sexual abuse. And makes children potential victims of child sexual abuse. Little girls in erotic pose and dress makes even adult males excited, so studies indicate. French Vogue using little girls as adults crosses the line and appeals to the potential predator in many males.

Will you explain to us how it are that children may be objects of fashion and adult viewing pleasure in a fashion magazine such as French Vogue? The writer of the Time magazine article below says, “Let’s agree here with the many outraged bloggers who note that there is something deeply creepy about the images. The girl has a preternaturally mature stare and a Brigitte Bardot pout that is both stunning and unsettling. And of course there’s something disturbing about the whole concept of using a fourth-grader to hawk couture for adult women.” In your mind, does this kind of use of a fourth-grader promote interest in children in ways that an adult is interested in an adult? In other words, does this kind of exploitation encourage a child as sex object—even pornography?

Sexy?

Shari Karney: I believe that there is something very disturbing about using a fourth-grader to sell couture for adult women. These children are portrayed extremely sexually. They are not portrayed doing normal children-activities. They are being portrayed with prostitute high-heals on, in erotic poses, doing adult activities. Their hair is elegantly fashioned, their lips pouty-red come-hither, and their skirts exposing naked legs. These children are shown as sexual objects, desirous of sexual encounters. Let’s get one thing clear, Children never want sex from adults.

Vogue‘s 10-Year-Old Model and the Pressure to Be Hot From Cradle to Grave

By Susanna Schrobsdorff

Time magazine report of August 6, 2012… Read more: http://healthland.time.com/2011/08/05/vogues-10-year-old-model-and-the-pressure-to-be-hot-from-cradle-to-grave/#ixzz22cYmNrBI

Just when we were getting used to seeing pubescent bodies of 13-year-old fashion models draped in $10,000 outfits, French Vogue has taken the creepy trend one step further with some controversial photos of a pre-pubescent 10-year-old model striking some very adult poses.

The image of young Thylane Loubry Blondeau, stretched out on a tiger skin with leopard-print high heels, red nail polish, big jewelry and upswept hair, has lit up the Web and reignited the long-running debate over whether we are sexualizing young girls.

Let’s agree here with the many outraged bloggers who note that there is something deeply creepy about the images. The girl has a preternaturally mature stare and a Brigitte Bardot pout that is both stunning and unsettling. And of course there’s something disturbing about the whole concept of using a fourth-grader to hawk couture for adult women.

But in truth, I’m a little surprised that the Vogue pictures caused such a stir given that there’s no comparable outrage over the fact that Target sells pink silk padded bras for tweens or that, come this Halloween, we’ll once again be faced with fetish wear for 6-year-olds including some truly icky French maid costumes.

And yet we’re shocked each time there’s a new sexy kid incident. Inevitably, in response, the TV networks drag out the clips of the heavily made-up kiddie pageant contestants on TLC’s Toddlers and Tiaras, along with that viral video of a dance competition featuring young girls wearing garters and gyrating to a Beyoncé song.

Toddlers & Tiaras and sexualization of children–Shari Karney talks about

Posted on August 3, 2012 by ShariKarney

SHARI KARNEY TALKS ABOUT

In this first question, and here the question references the two videos from Anderson’s hit reality show “Toddlers and Tiaras,” Do you believe that “Toddlers and Tiaras” is adding to the sexualization of children? As the first video notes in the short discussion with Moms, some say there is nothing wrong with this kind of thing, as it is harmless and just fun. In the second video, the viewer sees audience reaction. Obviously, the audience members enjoy the display and actions of the children. Will you comment?

Shari Karney: Showing children in scantily clad, “Pretty Woman Prostitute Outfits,” “Lady Gaga Outfits with attempt to show 3-year-old Child Cleavage,” turns children into adult sex objects. These children are being judged at 3 and 4 and 5 years old, based on their sexuality, beauty, sexiness and then we all are astonished when there is so much sexual abuse of young children. The other part of this that is so disturbing is that we value girls based on their sexiness, beauty, make-up, spiked heels, clothes, spray tans, and we don’t value them or show them as valued girls that are based on genuine qualities such as intelligence, compassion, athletic ability, science talent, artistic sense. We are saying if you are a girl, you are only of interest to us—famous, given a lot of attention—if you are sexy. Remember these kids are 3, 4, 5, 6., 7.

Many find this “Toddlers and Tiaras” reality show a case of children and values—gone wrong. What are we asking of our little children? What’s valuable to us? We’re teaching makeover and boobs? Is this display of children a form of exploitation, and in terms of values held by a parent, what are we told about the values they hold?

Shari Karney: I’ll give you an example, one of these little girls in “Toddlers and Tiaras” is on a no-more-than sixteen hundred calories a day diet and has lost ten pounds over the summer. She is six years old. Furthermore they are giving these children ldren energy drinks, it consists of caffeine and sugar. On Anderson Cooper, they showed one of the kids drinking the juice, and then Anderson Cooper took a few swigs and said himself, it was the sugariest drink. It was so much so that his hands were shaking. The drink is called, “GoGo Juice.” It’s made of one part Mountain Dew and one part Red Bull. It’s bad because, children have natural energy. But these children not only dress as sexual adults, but they are drinking adult energy drinks to be more energetic, provocative, sexy- cute. Why aren’t the drinks to increase their intelligence, or something healthy to help them grow up and be strong. We are making these children into caffeinated-sugar-high-wound-up Barbie Dolls. Pull the string and you get a performing doll. What message does this give to the little girl in Indiana, or Ohio, or anywhere?

Pageant Moms Makeover Experiment

On Friday’s episode, Anderson turns the tables on the moms from TLC’s hit reality show “Toddlers and Tiaras” — by giving each a makeover in a replica of their daughters’ own dresses, makeup and hair. They learn first-hand what it feels like to be decked out in the ultimate pageant gear… everything from eyelashes to Mary Janes. On the show, Anderson is joined by veteran pageant girls, as well as the show’s newest addition, viral sensation Alana “Honey Boo Boo Child” and their mothers. They discuss the latest controversies from the current season, including hyper-caffeinated drinks and one mother’s decision to have her 8-year-old daughter count calories.

Anderson explores the world of child beauty pageants and examines the impact of pageants on children.

“Toddlers & Tiaras” star Eden Wood’s mom, Mickie, defends the longtime tradition of beauty pageants and specifically asserts that her child dancing has absolutely nothing to do with sex.

Six-year-old “Toddlers & Tiaras” star Eden Wood started in pageants before she could walk, and has won almost 300 titles. Her mom, Mickie, a drama school teacher, says “pageants never crossed my mind. I had noticed early on that she had a lot of rhythm and stuff. And we have a performance-based family.”

http://www.andersoncooper.com/2012/02/16/before-and-after-toddlers-and-tiaras-moms-makeover-experiment/